SPOILERS AHEAD as the commentary of The Medusa Coin continues!!
Scenes that don’t work…
Sometimes it happens. You outline a movement that makes complete sense when you start and when you get there it feels off.
Something is out of place. A character is doing or saying something that doesn’t sound right for the moment. Or you don’t have a reason for them to be there in the first place.
That scene came in the form of The Courtyard for The Medusa Coin.
The Courtyard scene…
The Courtyard was a setting established in the first novel. A place of commerce and commiseration by the strange denizens of Portents and a link to dozens of worlds – a damn cool place and I wanted to revisit it.
I wanted to show it empty.
It was meant to prove a point, that Loren and Soriya were on their own. It was meant to be this powerful beat for them that they have no choice but to face this threat together.
Only Soriya already knew it would be empty. Kok’Kol said as much in the previous chapter. So rather than move forward, rather than take Loren somewhere to find answers she took him to this empty haven.
WRONG.
Oh, and in the original draft, Loren DROVE to the Courtyard. Does Loren drive? NEVER. Oy, this scene…
Filling the moment
Removing the Courtyard scene meant having a beat put in place to move Soriya and Loren from the rooftop of the Central Precinct to the Library of the Luminaries. It needed to push the mystery forward as well as exemplify Soriya’s fear over the situation.
Enter the Cobbler’s Den.
I know. Another immortal. But this one made sense. The myth of the Wandering Jew is about a man who was present at the crucifixion and did nothing that day. He was cursed to live forever to atone for that inaction.
I liked the story. I really liked how it played off Henry Erikson’s own desire to live forever and the cost of such an act. The jokes about Loren’s footwear were just a bonus in my humble opinion.
While it would have been nice to SEE the Courtyard empty, mentioning it was sufficient for the moment. By changing their pitstop on the way to the library a new opportunity and a unique player entered the world of Portents.
And no huge continuity error of Loren DRIVING to the Courtyard. What the hell was I thinking?!
Next time
A break from the commentary. Lots of Founder’s Day info coming your way!!!
Thanks for reading.
