Lou Paduano | Urban Fantasy Novels | Sci-Fi Crime Series

The Clearing Author Commentary 3

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This time on the author commentary for The Clearing, I’m talking about juggling the leads. SPOILER warning is in effect!

Juggling the Leads

What am I talking about with this? Well, in Greystone, there are two main characters–Soriya and Loren–and they pretty much run the show for the series. Most of the scenes, if you go back and read the books, are straightforward with a back and forth pattern between two principal characters.

I found that dynamic worked best for those opening novels. But as I went along, I started to look for more complex setups, more intricate scenes and pacing to keep the reader interested and moving through the narrative.

DSA was the perfect exploration, especially with The Clearing.

When the team is sent to Bellbrook, suddenly there are four main characters handling all the action and dialogue. Four personalities that needed to be fleshed out and seen through their actions and their words with each chapter of the novel.

Was Ruth snippy enough? Do we understand Morgan’s fear of connecting with Ben? Was Lincoln too callous, or did that fit with his role as the soldier of the group? As I said before, Ben was no longer the main focus. There was an ensemble cast to build up and tear down. Each scene provided the means, and The Clearing threw them all together very quickly.

Challenges

I’ve heard from readers about the jumping around at the start of the novel. I’m not a huge fan of it either, but looking back each scene is absolutely critical to introducing these elements. If not for the opening ten chapters, why would you care about their journey to Bellbrook? Why does it matter when one is shot and another dies, unless there is that innate connection?

Another challenge I found when plotting came with how to stage each encounter. The initial drive to Bellbrook was one such scene, because each character needed to shine on their own without actually doing anything. They are stuck in the car for crying out loud, so that back and forth element needed to lean into their personalities more.

The electronics store offered another challenge. Who moves where? Who acts first? How to give each player something to do? All these elements ran through my mind while staging the beats for this scene and the rest of the novel.

Will there be more whole team adventures?

If you look at the rest of Season One, there wasn’t another time when all the main players are on the same mission at the same time. That might have been a mistake, but the choice also allowed each character to grow through their own plotlines.

There are a couple moments in Season Two that utilize the entire team, but for the most part there is a split dynamic that I believe works better.

So will there be more whole team adventures? Absolutely. I’ve plotted a number of them in Season Three, which looking at it now is a surprise. It could be a sense of comfort with the characters, or that the readers should know these characters almost as well as I do at that point.

Or it could be that the threats warrant it, which was the case with The Clearing.

What were your thoughts on the juggling of leads in The Clearing? Was it a case of too many cooks in the kitchen (voices in the scene) or did you enjoy that sense of chaos with so many disparate personalities constantly clashing?

Next time: The rise of Gregory Sullivan.

The Clearing Author Commentary 1

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Welcome to the author commentary for The Clearing. I love sharing behind the scenes details about the creative process, as well as the many mistakes I make in putting books together. There will be SPOILERS ahead. You have been warned!

A Mess of a Start

The Clearing was one of the most difficult books I’ve had the pleasure of putting together… so far. If you’ve read my intro to the commentary last time, you’ll already know how my original plan for the series was to structure weekly installments with two or three sub-chapters per week for readers.

The shift to novella format was a blessing and a curse. Mostly a blessing, as it allowed each book to breathe a little easier without the strict structure previously put in place. Because of that extra room available, I started to rework the book.

A lot.

The initial version of The Clearing focused entirely on Ben’s character. He’s the reader’s POV in entering this new organization and finding out all the craziness out in the world. It made sense to follow him throughout.

Except this isn’t Ben’s series. Not entirely.

The Ensemble Cast

Morgan Dunleavy has equal billing when it comes to the DSA. You can also argue for Susan Metcalf in that regard. The fact became apparent relatively quickly that centering every event around one character wasn’t going to fly. Every member of the cast had a role to play and their importance to the overall story was necessary to illustrate right from the start.

A Deviation

In writing about the ensemble cast, I remember back when I first conceived the series. In truly keeping with the episodic television show aspect of the DSA, I envisioned actors and actresses playing each of the characters. I heard their thoughts on the scripts as they were coming out and how they perceived their roles in them.

It might sound strange that way, but it really gave me the drive needed to beef up everyone’s role in the book. I took a step back to see why each character was acting the way they were, and what direction they were headed in the series.

For a time I thought about creating mock-interviews with these “actors” talking about their characters. That would have been fun to do. Maybe down the line…

The Many Mistakes of the Opening Sequences…

Knowing each character needed a moment to shine brought me back to the opening of the series. The Clearing had to sell the reader on these people and why they are important. Why do we care about any of them?

In order to justify their existence, I rewrote the opening sequence of events quite a few times.

The initial first chapter from the earliest draft was the Wilson Dupree scene in Bellbrook. It is the inciting incident and the main thrust of this book’s narrative, so it made sense to me to open with that.

Unfortunately, it created a timeline problem.

Recruiting Ben became infinitely more difficult because of that disaster hanging over the reader. Plus, it put the characters below the plot, in my opinion.

So Wilson and Bellbrook got shunted to Chapter 5.

The first four chapters in the book didn’t exist at this point. In the early drafts, once Bellbrook is established, the story picks up with Ben’s conviction and subsequent recruitment by Metcalf and we’re off and running.

No Wex Avenue house. No keypad to a secret facility with hints about something called The Utopia Protocol.

Just the trial and his chat with Susan.

There was even a draft where Metcalf fakes Ben’s death. The bus that was supposed to take Ben away explodes in the middle of their chat. Then I had to explain how a look-alike snuck on the bus (and then off the bus) before the explosion. It was a mess of explanation and did little for the story.

Finding the Right Story Beats

I pride myself on trying to key in on character more than plot. The people in the story serve a greater purpose than to bounce from event to event. They should be driving the action, the tension, the entire dynamic of the narrative throughout.

So when I started looking at how to open The Clearing, I realized character was the key. If Ben’s conviction is important, let’s show what happened and how it can link to his worldview. That’s where Wex Avenue came in play.

Looking at the DSA, a key event in the series is the fall of Jacob Grissom. Draft after draft came along where we never saw the fall, which if you’ve read the whole season seems like a terrible idea considering what happens to poor Grissom in the aftermath.

Chapter Two became that moment. Not only do we get a crucial piece of backstory for the DSA to drive their actions throughout the season, we get to see each of our characters react to the moment and provide the reader a starting point of who these people are. Lincoln is gruff. Ruth is a leader, but in name only. Morgan is the healer, fighting for every second of life for all those around her. And Metcalf… well, her cold, calculation gets her in a lot of trouble, wouldn’t you say?

It all started here, by pulling these moments apart and reworking the story.

Lincoln and Morgan

Lincoln and Morgan never had a story beat in early drafts. They were passengers on Ben’s journey. When I realized my error in this, considering their roles going forward, I needed a baseline beat to show the readers who they were.

That’s where Chapters 8 and 9 came from. Two small chapters that give you everything you need to know about Lincoln and Morgan. Through Lincoln, you learn how pragmatic he is when it comes to attachments, yet also how Ruth has somehow broken through that barrier in his eyes.

Morgan’s was more about residual emotions regarding Grissom. It set up the tension in Promethean, and her inability to have faith in Ben as a partner out of fear of losing another one.

Next up: Cover Design Nightmare!

DSA Season One Author Commentary Intro

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Welcome to the author commentary for DSA Season One! This has been a long time in the making, and I am so excited to share tidbits on the writing process. DSA was such a challenging project from start to sort-of finish (there are still more seasons to put together).

What is an author commentary?

I’ve always loved reading and watching behind the scenes info about a creative project, be it a film, show, book, or comic. To see how something came to be, from the original inception to the end product is truly a marvelous process. Each one is so unique, yet the challenges are pretty universal.

With my author commentary, it gives me a chance to share the process with you. Almost like a post-mortem for myself, this is where you’ll see all the areas I botched the writing, the pacing, the plot points, and everything else imaginable during the creation of the DSA.

Spoilers ahead…

Will there be spoilers? Absolutely. I am going to talk about the book in detail. Why characters are the way they are, why events happened the way they did, etc. What I will not be spoiling is where the story goes next. That’s off the table.

So for The Clearing, I will be going in depth on the climax of the novel, but I will not delve into where The Witness goes from there or any other plot point to be revealed in a later book. (And boy are those answers coming soon!)

Hints are allowed.

DSA Season One

There are six books in the first season of DSA. I’ll be going through all six over the course of the year.

As a primer, I thought I would share the original design of the series as it is one of those areas that changed wildly as time went on.

I developed the series back in 2014. Originally, it was meant to be released in weekly installments either by newsletter or through a service like Patreon. Each book was written in twelve parts with two or three sub-chapters making up each part. There were also bonus back-up stories to offer readers interested in more information on the characters or the series.

I don’t recall the exact reasoning for abandoning this approach. It may have been due to the fun I’d had working on Greystone’s First Cycle or simply because I thought novels would work better as a selling point, but I switched directions on the series.

Each book was rewritten, top to bottom. The twelve sections were gone. Scenes were rearranged. Some were cut. Some were expanded upon (most were expanded upon). The backup stories were folded into the novels themselves. There was one in Promethean that ended up being a crucial scene in the book, so hooray to me for figuring out how not to screw that up…

Instead of treating them as these digital-only entities, every book in the DSA series became fully fledged novellas/episodes in the series.

What’s ahead?

The Clearing is up first. This book…well, let’s just say it went through A LOT of changes over the course of its development and I can’t wait to share them with you.

The Final Gauntlet Author Commentary 5

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Big time SPOILER WARNING in effect for this one, folks. The author commentary of The Final Gauntlet continues this week with a look at a late addition to the book: Bethany Loren.

Connecting to the main series

Remember that nugget? Yeah, my third goal for this book was making sure it transitioned nicely back to the main series.

Turns out that was a tough nut to crack.

The Final Gauntlet needed to stand on its own, close out the Greystone-in-Training trilogy, AND push readers to pick up Book Six of the main series? Sometimes I hate myself. (Sure, we’ll go with sometimes…)

When putting together the book, I needed a character or event that carried over between series. It didn’t take long to find. Beth’s fall cemented Loren’s path in Greystone. So I thought it would be interesting to show that same event from Soriya’s side.

Originally, it was meant to close out the series. That was such a downer ending. Annabelle’s closing scene resonated much more with me, and offered hope for the future.

Still, Beth’s fall was a great way to push Soriya forward.

The Final Gauntlet no more

The idea that all our trials end, that there is no more pain or suffering in our lives, is such a child’s view of things. The entire purpose behind The Final Gauntlet was to show Soriya that her line of thinking was flawed. That there will always be the next challenge and the next mystery. There will always be life and death, hope and sorrow, pain and joy.

Nothing ever truly ends. There is no finality when there is still life to be had.

I didn’t have this theme in mind when I started the book. It came when drafting the end with Soriya looking down over her friend. The one she failed to save. That cemented the theme in my mind: that moment forced Soriya to grow up and truly be something more than she was.

Now she was the Greystone, because now she saw the never-ending nature of the job.

Setting up the end

Having Beth’s fall from Soriya’s POV opened the door to some revisions on the rest of the book. There had to be a set up. Soriya can’t just show up at Beth’s.

A Circle of Shadows made it clear there was more interaction with Soriya and Beth, including a phone call just prior to Beth’s fall. That call was the first step in building up to the death of Soriya’s friend.

But I needed more.

Enter: a new opening chapter.

Originally, the book started with Annabelle Waterhouse. That made narrative sense to me. Inciting incident and all that. (See, I paid attention in school.)

To have the book open and close with a new character instead of your tried and true hero seemed like a slight against Soriya. I wanted to open with Soriya and Beth. I needed to with how things end. Beth couldn’t be someone off screen until her passing. There had to be that moment, that one look from Beth, where Soriya realizes she might never see her friend again.

Where worry and concern carry us forward so that when Beth is found on the pavement we aren’t surprised. Or we shouldn’t be, at any rate.

So the opening chapter became the diner scene, which has one of my favorite stories in it from Soriya. I still chuckle when I read through her dialogue.

Bringing it home. Pushing us forward.

The story of Greystone continues in Alpha and Omega. That’s always been the plan. Book Six was to be a transitional novel, a flashback to Soriya and Loren’s first case together: the Kindly Killer.

Beth’s fall opened the door to set up that meeting. Sure, the main thrust of the chapter is the theme of there being no final gauntlet, not really, but it led to Soriya realizing what her next challenge SHOULD be.

The Kindly Killer. And Greg Loren.

That was my way of connecting to the main series. I think it worked well and set up the reveal at the back of the book of where the stories continues.

I’d like to think it was there in the first draft, but let’s be honest. I ain’t that smart. Thankfully, this connection came through in the editing process.

Next time:

Closing out the author commentary with a look at the strengths and weaknesses of the book.

Thanks for reading.

The Final Gauntlet Author Commentary 4

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The author commentary for The Final Gauntlet continues! Old friends return to close out their stories and I’ll be talking about the whys behind it all, so SPOILER WARNING is in effect!

The truth behind the book

That’s what these author commentaries have always been about for me: giving insight into the writing process, explaining the connections that occurred during the drafting, and why changes were necessary in the editing phase. I think it is incredibly important to pass along the trials and tribulations of the job. Not so much for sympathy points, though I’m not adverse to milking some every so often, but more so the casual reader understands that writing is not a straightforward path.

There are constant decisions to be made. Constant questions to be answered.

The Final Gauntlet was no exception.

When I sat down to outline this book, the end of the trilogy, I almost immediately ran into problems. I had my three goals, as discussed previously, but beyond that what did I have?

Nothing. Not a clue. Not a whit or iota of a subplot.

The story was all about Soriya and the Daughters of Salem. Yes, Annabelle brought some tension and a bit of mystery to the piece. However, for the most part, there was only the big fight.

I needed more meat in the mix. I needed something for readers to glom onto to keep them engaged in the larger story at work.

The return of some old friends came out of this need. Suddenly, I went from a ten chapter fight to an actual book, with character development and exposition and plot build up to a natural climax.

Old Friends

Urg was a natural fit for what I was thinking when I started outlining. He came quick to the forefront with what I thought was important to impart before the series finished.

Eddie was someone I never thought we would see again. I really thought Hammer and Anvil closed out his story. Yet, when I dug into the case for bringing him back I quickly came to see the potential of his character. There was more to tell, the next step of his evolution as it were, as he tries to accept the mistakes of his past with the choices of his future.

Neither one would work, though, if there wasn’t some connection to Soriya to bring back around. Again, this is her story. It always should be centered around her to some extent. While Urg and Eddie both go through something profound during the crazy night in Portents, the most important part of their presence in the book is to reflect on how they see Soriya. On how Soriya changed their lives by being there.

Once I had that hook to their storylines, I knew they fit. That it wasn’t just a need to fill pages, but an honest to God truth that needed to be shared before the close of the series.

Mentor

Mentor was always going to be involved. The true impetus of the book, the reason for its being was the use of the hide-and-seek game in the beginning. Soriya’s final test to become the Greystone.

It was meant to be fun and exciting for them both, so of course it goes completely awry. But Mentor’s presence will always affect Soriya and the series in general. His role as teacher and guardian will never disappear, not completely, so I thought it was important to bring it around full circle from Hammer and Anvil.

In the opening book, Soriya is dismissed from the role. At the end of The Final Gauntlet, Mentor passes over the stone to her and with it the mantle of Greystone.

The importance of filling out the world with old friends

Yes, there is a lesson to be learned in my meandering. This outline, this very book, would not have come together if it weren’t for the supporting characters already present in the series. Sure, some new faces might filled a role or two, but they would not have brought that sense of history or connection that Urg and Eddie did.

It would have felt hollow in comparison.

By stretching out the canvass, by playing with all the toys in the toybox and learning who they are at their core, it was a much more interesting experience bringing Urg, Eddie, and even Mentor back into the series to bounce off Soriya. To push her character more. To build her up, tear her down, and really understand the virtue of her spirit.

Supporting characters matter.

People question my desire to change POV’s and dig into more than just the main character’s arcs. This is why.

They strengthen the narrative and the hero’s at the forefront of the tale. But only if you give them the time to do so.

Next time:

How Beth’s return changed the book.

Thanks for reading.

 

The Final Gauntlet Author Commentary 3

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The Final Gauntlet Author Commentary continues with a look at the intriguing character of Annabelle Waterhouse. SPOILER WARNING is in full effect as I will be talking about events in the novel, including the very end of the book!

Who is Annabelle Waterhouse?

By the time I reached The Final Gauntlet, I knew I had to answer the question posed at the beginning of the trilogy. Who is the doormaker?

The question wasn’t obvious from the first instance, but it stuck in my mind enough that I fleshed it out more in Book 2. The opening scene of The Gifts of Kali originally had no shadowy dame running off. It was merely the gunrunners finding the door with Shiva.

That needed to change, but in what way?

The edits during Kali really fleshed out my starting point for this book. I had an answer, of a sort, in the form of a young red-haired woman. But who the hell was she?

Annabelle Waterhouse didn’t come fully formed. Part of her was pulled from the images I had snuck into the previous books. The full picture didn’t focus until I had my bad guys: the Daughters of Salem.

She really pulled from their story, and that was intentional. They grew organically together. The Daughters from pure menace to possible sympathetic villains, and Annabelle from this vague misshapen walking accident to someone trying to find herself.

It was that notion of trying to find herself that made her click in my eyes. That was the entire purpose of this trilogy: Soriya’s journey to become the Greystone. Her way. Self-discovery was crucial to each of the three books, and Annabelle fed right into that.

The parent connection

Annabelle’s search for her parents brought a deliberate wrinkle to the narrative. It came early and I tried to make it prominent in the early stages of her time with Soriya. I needed that connection between them at the forefront.

Why, you ask?

Oh, no reason. None at all. Just a little something called foreshadowing for Greystone Book 8, 9, and 10… That’s all.

I know it’s silly to be planting seeds at the end of a trilogy. It should be about closing doors, not opening new ones. But the moment was there and I took it. I had to. Soriya’s parentage has been an open question mark since the very start of the series. It has to be addressed, so when the chance is there to mention it, I go for it.

Connection to the Daughters of Salem

This was a little more tenuous. I left it vague for a reason. Were the Daughters telling the truth when they tried to convince Annabelle to open their door? Was Annabelle’s mother really one of them way back when, and therefore a victim of circumstance?

That’s not how I saw it, but I didn’t see the need to answer those questions definitively. Better to leave some wiggle room in case an opportunity arises in the future. Never let it be said that I won’t string you along if there’s a chance at an Annabelle versus the Daughters sequel somewhere down the line.

Final moments

I honestly thought about ending the novel with Soriya. It’s always her story and should stay with her.

But Annabelle was calling for one last scene. Like the others in this book, she needed a closing moment–even one as open-ended as this one.

She predicts her return to the city. That was on me. Those were my predictions more than hers, I’ll admit. Annabelle’s story isn’t finished. All that power in her and we let her hide in a cabin in the woods until the end of time?

No way.

Annabelle Waterhouse has a HUGE role to play in the main series. I promise you that.

I loved writing her character in this book, and the strength she came to own at the end. Where she goes from here will astonish you.

Next time:

Saying goodbye to Urg and Eddie.

Thanks for reading.

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